I want to expand on a post I did yesterday on forgiving yourself. I’ve been doing some more thinking and praying on this topic today. I was allowed to make mistakes as a child and teen, but there was a high price to pay. There was always a massive over reaction to any mistake I made. This left me with a sense that any mistake I make, even one that is totally out of my control is a life shattering event. This is a rough way to live and it creates standards that cannot be achieved.
So, I was talking to God about this this morning. When I say talking I mean praying, same difference to me. What I got in response was a message for other parents. The message is this: let your kids make mistakes. Every parent wants their child to do and have the best in life. But sometimes our opinion of what’s best is not in line with God’s plan. We, as parents, need to always be conscious of the message we’re sending to our kids through our actions and words.
As stated above, I learned at a young age that my mistakes have severe consequences. I learned, whether true or not, that my actions had huge effects on my family. In hindsight I can say that most of the time, that was not true. Or at least it wasn’t as catastrophic as I was lead to believe. This false belief still haunts me today.
No parent wants their child to have to face disappointments in life, but mistakes and disappointments are infinitely valuable, as long as they are handled correctly. Your children need to know two things. First, that you have their back no matter what. And second, that we all make mistakes. That this is probably not their first mistake and it will definitely not be their last. They need to know that they should do their best, but that in the end there are times things will simply just not work out. We are all going to falter. Sometimes big mistakes, sometimes small, but it’s going to happen. Teach your children how to learn from mistakes. Teach them that making a mistake doesn’t make them bad, it makes them human. Teach them that trying to do the right things is what truly matters, that the heart condition is the true test of right and wrong.
- Parents Beating their Children (pjoriginal.wordpress.com)
- 8 Ways to NOT Spoil Your Kids (everydayfamily.com)