PTSD takes some getting used to. I’m not sure I’ll ever be totally accustomed to it because there always seems to be a new challenge. What really frustrates me is trying to do the simple things and getting totally frustrated.
I’m no longer able to work, so my purpose in our house has been relegated to that of a house husband. Dishes, cleaning, bills, etc. But, there are times when even those jobs frustrate the hell out of me. In the army I was required to keep certain items packed at all times in case of a short, rapid deployment. But occasionally our trip was going to be longer and I had to pack more than just the rapid deployment items. This was never a problem for me. I knew where everything was and could pack with or without a list in a matter of minutes. Even as a civilian police officer, if I was called in on short notice it was no problem. I could be ready and out the door in minutes.
Now, after ptsd, it takes me several minutes to get out the door. Did I get my wallet? Do I have my phone? Etc. Sometimes I go off hunting for these things only to find that they’re already in my pocket or bag. Sometimes even after I find an item I have to recheck several times because I can’t remember for sure that I have them.
I find now that the dishes really tick me off. If the dishwasher needs emptied and it’s just glasses and plates, then no problem. But if it contains odd items that I don’t deal with every day, then look out! For the most part, I’m the one that put everything in its place after I remodeled the kitchen a few years ago. Now, that damn muffin tin is my worst enemy. Where the hell does it go? Even once I figure it out, I may not remember where it is or where it goes the next time. It’s like putting away things in somebody else’s kitchen.
But, even though it takes me much longer than before, I find my way through the pots and pans maze and get everything put away. That is until my wife goes looking for something and we both have to hunt for it to figure it where I stashed it. 🙂