I have spent the better part of the last two or more years fighting with PTSD and all that comes with it. I’m still fighting it today and it’s a grueling battle. But maybe it’s time for me to stop fighting. Maybe it’s time for me to accept the new me.
Philipians 4:12-13 says this, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.”
So maybe I’ve been going at this thing all wrong. I’ve learned that PTSD is not just a way of thinking that needs to be changed. It is an actual brain injury. I won’t go into all of the detailed description, but the basic is this. The part of the brain of the brain that controls the fear response has been damaged in someone with PTSD. It no longer operates as designed.
So, looking at the condition this way, fighting it is kind of like having no legs and continually trying to walk and then being frustrated because it doesn’t work. Do I wish things were different? Yes. But, maybe I need to accept that I can’t change it back to the way it was. I’m thinking that in order to change my current PTSD situation, I would have to go back into the past and change several events, which is obviously impossible.
Am I useless with PTSD? Absolutely not! And neither are you. You and I just operate a little differently now. We need to do things that some may not have to do just simply because of an illness, injury, condition, whatever title you want to apply. I am currently unable to work a normal job. Ok, so what? I still do a ton at the house as well as using online tools like this blog to raise awareness and let others know they are not alone. When God wants me to go in another direction, He will make the way clear.
P.S. I looked backed through this post to check for errors before I posted it. I noticed that at least once I repeated a sentence. That is PTSD showing through, so I left it as is.
- PTSD redundancy plan (theonlyblogtitleleft.wordpress.com)