Fear and loathing in PTSD ville

There are many, many days where I hate, no despise PTSD.  I hate the fear that I have that I connect quite pinpoint where it’s coming from.  It seems that often no matter how hard I try, I can’t escape it.  Each time I think I’ve found a way out, then boom!  I’m right back where I started in my head.

I have meds to take, but at times they really only delay the inevitable.  There is a crap storm coming and the only thing I can do is face it.  At some point, I’m just going to have to give in and go through the storm.  Relive the past, deal with current and future fears that may not even exist.  My friends and readers, it sucks more than I can explain in a blog or even in person.  Think of it this way: it’s like facing an enemy that you can’t see, don’t know exactly how to fight, and don’t know when the fight will end.

 

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2 comments on “Fear and loathing in PTSD ville

  1. Wish that was a dislike button, Brodie! You just put into words what I’ve been trying to put into words for some time. Just when you think you’ve found a balance between sanity and ptsd…boom, bam, wham, it smacks you into next week. Get that all too well. And then sometimes things that ought to trigger you, things you expect to trigger you – don’t…but, oh, don’t worry, just when you least expect it, it will. Love your posts, never stop writing, never stop fighting! 0:) (that’s supposed to be an angel with a halo -lol!

  2. Yep. Also, I’m so incredibly happy that what I share helps others find common ground. To know that they are not the only ones. PTSD is a lonely journey at times, mainly because it’s nearly impossible to help someone not affected to understand. In the end, I guess that’s my goal. To let others with it know they’re not alone, and help those without understand just a little better.

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