There are many, many days where I hate, no despise PTSD. I hate the fear that I have that I connect quite pinpoint where it’s coming from. It seems that often no matter how hard I try, I can’t escape it. Each time I think I’ve found a way out, then boom! I’m right back where I started in my head.
I have meds to take, but at times they really only delay the inevitable. There is a crap storm coming and the only thing I can do is face it. At some point, I’m just going to have to give in and go through the storm. Relive the past, deal with current and future fears that may not even exist. My friends and readers, it sucks more than I can explain in a blog or even in person. Think of it this way: it’s like facing an enemy that you can’t see, don’t know exactly how to fight, and don’t know when the fight will end.